Ballbusting At Home

Mistress, I am curious to try ballbusting at home with my wife, but I don't think she is comfortable being as mean to me as you are. We tried rough sex, and she knows I like high heels... but how can I make her feel comfortable being the controlling one I want her to be?


Well it sounds to me like you have a pretty good understanding of some
of the things which get you going. The heels turn you on... is she
willing to wear them? (Have you made the effort to purchase her a
quality pair to make this more exciting for you both) Next, you said
you have openly disclosed your interest in rough sex. She likes it
too, but you say she holds back. Thats pretty normal when one is
first exploring this concept. Until she learns how hard to push you,
and her own strength, as well as hearing your honest expectations and
response... then she won't be able to fulfill your fantasy.

What seems missing here is communication about your desires. Anytime
you try something new in the bedroom, its a good idea to have a
conversation about it later on. Try to encourage her efforts, even if
there is a negative critique that needs to be verbalized, start with
something she did right. For example: That was really exciting when
you started to get a little strict/rough with me, it really turned me
on. I thought you meant business when you grabbed me by the balls.
To be honest, (this is where you can ask for more intensity, gently)
if you had grabbed them even harder at that moment I would have let
you do it. In that state, with you in total control, I can't even
feel pain. Instead I get a total adrenaline rush from feeling my
power taken away from me. I actually could have taken a lot more
before needing you to stop. (then here I may close with another
positive) The look on your face when you had me by the balls was
amazing, you're always beautiful but when you look controlling and
powerful I really melt/get excited/turned on. (however you want to put
this, make it a compliment that encourages her and suggests trying it
again.)


Then listen to her response. She may explain she was afraid to hurt you, etc... But then she always may confess how having the control made her feel hot, etc. If she does, encourage that response. Then try and establish a plan to have a safeword in case it becomes too painful. Explain the reason for a safeword is to allow both of you to let go and roleplay a bit more.

If she knows you are actually OK, then she will be able to turn off that automatic
protector button she has that goes off when her mate is being harmed. Choose
a word together. Something like her middle name, or the color RED, or
something silly if you prefer, like marshmallow. Whatever it is, make
it some word you don't normally use in bed, thats easily distinguishable from
more, yes, no, mmmm, etc... that way the role-play can ensue and the safety
can be trusted enough for her to venture further next time.

Let the kinky games begin!

Bound In Boston

This past weekend I ventured off to a rope bondage convention. Two full days of workshops, presenters from around the country teaching lots of new knots and harnesses to learn; adding to my repertoire.

I'm currently rather interested in incorporating rope bondage into scenes so if you make an appointment to see me for a session and check the box Mistresses Choice, then you will likely wind up in full or partial suspension completely at the mercy of me and my careful knotted ropes.

Once immobilized, the rest is up to me... Will I choose to exploit those tender little balls so vulnerable and exposed? Will I make an example out of you and stripe your behind with my cane... Or maybe tease and tantalize your chastised male equipment just for my own sadistic pleasure. Whatever I choose to do to you, you won't have much choice in the matter, dangling completely helpless and in my clutches.

*(limits always respected.)

Chastity Corner

---- Letter from one of my kept pets, enjoy. -GDS

It has taken the better part of my life to realize my submissive sexuality, but only a few incredible hours with Goddess to know that it is She i will totally surrender it to. Here is my story.

For me, chastity is an offering, a gift, a tribute a sacrifice. For it to be meaningful, it must be given to someone; dedicated to them so they can take pleasure in knowing they have the ultimate control of someone. Once the lock clicks shut and the key is surrendered, it is a daily, hourly, moment to moment reminder that one person controls your manhood completely. Suddenly, all thoughts focused on sex are detoured, shifted to that person. Immediately after 'horny', there is 'locked!' and then 'Her'. And it goes round and round to where all of those thoughts and urges that used to result in masturbation now become thoughts of her and of your complete surrender to her.

my journey of discovery into began several years ago, on a trip to Madrid. Ever horny, especially on the road, i happened upon a brothel. The place was busy, with men regularly walking in and out, two burly guards at the door. It struck me how easy it would be to step in, choose a woman and fuck. All too easy, it seemed. After all, one of the great joys of sex was the dance, the struggle, the uncertainty. The clash of pure hormone driven urgency and the subtlety of the mental challenge to score. The dance. So i walked away, back to my hotel, where the internet introduced me to the world of male chastity. i immersed myself in web page after web page, discovering the world of Feminine Domination, Orgasm Denial and enforced Male Chastity. Before leaving i had ordered my first Chastity device and traveled home in a horny, submissive frenzy, anxious to lock my cock away. i was completely certain that i had found my answer, my true sexual self. Since i was without a Keyholder, i began to train myself in the hopes i would find the perfect Mistress some day.

First came the adjustment to the cage. The awkwardness of the hard plastic between my legs, the pinching of my balls, the morning erections that woke me in pain. But, with time, it became familiar, the norm. All of the small daily details of being in Chastity, the click of the lock as it rattles on my cage, ever searching for a sit down toilet, touching the hard case that isolates me from myself, become constant reminders of Her, my Mistress to be.

Then there was knowing my rhythm. i was an every other day masturbator for years. Initially, it was hard to go 4,5,6 days without cumming. I would be constantly reaching to touch myself, suddenly reminded that play time was over. Gradually the time lengthens; 7 days, 10 days, 14 days, 30 days. There is a clear pattern to my libido. After 3-4 days, i am moderately horny, pleasurably so. At a week, things began to get more serious. i find myself distracted by my cock, beginning to become preoccupied. i can feel myself becoming submissive, especially in the presence of women. Oddly enough, i believe women can sense this state, submissive and serving. They seem to acknowledge it with a knowing look, perhaps a smile, but i believe they know i am now longer threatening, knowing i am inferior to them. By day 14, i am in full semen submission. There is a feeling of floating in horniness, a craving for submission, for surrender. my thoughts turn to Her control, Her manipulating my willing body, enjoying the power of accepting my gift.

i reached out to Goddess after seeing her website and i was so pleased and excited when she agreed to session with me. o/Our first few sessions were eye opening for me. She seemed to know exactly my limits, my feelings. She fed my fantasies and started many new ones. It was o/Our third session when it happened. i was spread on the St. Andrew's cross, in heels and stockings and gagged. She was toying with me and i was falling into sub-space. i looked into Her eyes and fell into her. An immediate connection of trust, admiration, dedication. She could have asked anything of me at that moment, i was Her slave. It was o/Our next session when i knew it was She that i would offer my Chastity surrender. On the spanking bench, She working behind me, i was being outfitted with a humbler. Suddenly i felt my body go weak, limp, and a feeling of willing surrender overcame me. Unknown to me, She was crushing my balls in a vise and i was Her's forever. When i left that day, i resolved to ask Her to be my Keyholder.

When i see my Mistress again, it will be after 21 days of dedicated, devotional denial. I am swirling in a semen induced submissive state, craving for Her to handle me, torment me and amuse herself with my desperation. Uncertain as always and yet sure that She will know exactly where to take me on my journey. i dream She will grant me the gentle, dripping release that will come as She probes my man-pussy. It will be as She wishes.

In Service,

paul
caged4her

Check your Bucket List...

...at the door.

I'm sure many of you have a list of the things you'd like to try at least once in life. Not surprisingly, visiting a Dominatrix is a common one that shows up on many a bucket list.

I imagine the process one must go through to research the topic that has struck a chord in their fantasies and then the selection process to find the right Mistress who can twist your dreams into reality. Does she really exist?

That entirely depends. It can be when you are looking to have an authentic experience that flows rather naturally; a session which is spontaneously made up of the energy in the room, exploring interests and having your buttons pressed, while leaving all the decisions of how and when up to your Mistress. Being patient enough to allow Me to discover your kinks is always a great way to build trust and develop a stronger connection.

However, I also realize it takes a lot of courage to finally reach out and admit that you'd like to explore things you've only fantasized about... thus given the opportunity, you're hoping to make sure you get to dive right in and try all the things you've had running through your mind.

**If this is the type of session you're looking for, kindly run this past me in advance, so I know what to expect. Since you are hoping to work off a bucket list I will get my clip board so you can list them all. Each will be explored, assessed, and your performance will be judged, then merited. This experiment will be conducted and you will finally be able to check your Dominatrix curiosity off the bucket list. (Don't attempt to manipulate me during the session to walk through your fantasies at your direction or you will be throttled before even having the chance to check anything off the list.)

That being said, good communication is paramount to a good experience with your Domme. Yes I want to hear about your fantasies, and yes I want to hear your reflections after each session to know the progress I am making with you. I enjoy pulling reactions out of you... so do tell me what will get the best response, and what you would rather we stay away from. But don't attempt to top from the bottom. Doing so you could cheat yourself out of a wonderful experience making a total power exchange unlikely.

No dear, discussing your interests is in no way topping from the bottom. I don't want to have to play guessing games. If you know what you like and what your kinks are by all means, do tell me. What I'm referring to is not sitting up mid session and saying mistress are you going to sound me now or mistress could you please spend 60% of our time penetrating my holes and 25% of our time smothering me, then allow me the rest of the time to stare at and try to grope your ass.... Those folks get disappointed, and that is who I try to weed out through screening, but on occasion one slips through. To my dismay. My advice is to be in the moment, enjoy (and let me enjoy) the gift of submission you are giving to me. Once you try to make too many demands while in session, it is almost like taking back that gift. It leaves me feeling rather unable to think at all about what I might want to do to you... and isn't that the point?

Fall into Place

This month things are really starting to come together. Many of you have realized that securing a regular time in my calendar - or at least semi-regular, is the best way to ensure that you will be one of the lucky slaves who makes it through my doors. Those of you that have not, may be noticing that its getting harder and harder to get a hold of me. I am in the process of training an assistant to help with the many facets of communication, which can be a lot to manage. I appreciate your patience during this time and welcome any of your feedback regarding how I could improve upon in the areas of scheduling and communications.

Although at one time I could accommodate same day appointments or even 24hr notice, over these past few months my schedule has begun to fill up 1-2 weeks in advance. That is largely due to my preference for longer sessions averaging 2-3hrs each. I've also had a serge of requests for extended sessions, overnights, and visits from abroad. Know that I am trying my very best to juggle my schedule.

As one would expect of anyone juggling in 8 inch heels... there were a few minor setbacks that impacted my ability to meet every request. For those of you who were concerned, my ankle is on its way to a full recovery. And thanks to Dr John, I've managed to work my regular chiropractic visits back into my schedule to make sure I don't get laid up again with back pain. *(Anyone questioning how I have back issues at my age clearly has never seen the shoes I wear. Apply here for a session to worship my entire collection or take me shopping for my latest pair.)

Fetish Con Tampa

Last night I returned home from a week of sun and fun in Tampa, Florida. The main event was a Fetish convention, hosted at the Hyatt Regency. Lots of great vendors and models attended. I had the opportunity to meet some new photographers, session with some attending fans, and fit in some photo shoots all in just a few short days.

Stay tuned for more shots like this one taken by Matta, and look for me in the next issue of VonGuttenberg Magazine which should be hitting Hudson newstands around the world mid fall. I will be heading down to NYC for a shoot and hope to also meet up with Mistress Absolute of London. If you'd like to see me for a session while I'm in the New York area, or if you happen to have seats to a Yankees/RedSox game, send an email for consideration to Deanna@SadisticVixen.com

On my travels I connected with RAO Entertainment and now have an interest in modelling their lattest line of trendy lounge wear, Stitched Heart, which can be seen on facebook. Lots of great stuff in the works... Don't look away, or you might miss where I'm headed next! ;-)

Party at Pumps

Last night was the final dinner party from a long week of birthday festivities. I felt very loved and attended to this past Wednesday at Pumps which is hosted weekly by the lovely Mistress Delilah. Always a fun place to go out for a drink mid-week and see friends, on occasion this venue also hosts some kinky fun. Miss Vivian Darkbloom and Boselixir put together a sensational line-up of bare bottoms for me to lay across my knee and spank with my various paddles. Friends and slaves traveled from afar to make this birthday a special one. Afterall you only turn 29 once, right. ;-)

This picture, courtesy of Roperider, was one of many taken throughout the evening by the talented local photographer, who I fully intend to work with again on future collaborations. Whenever I turned around, there he was ready to capture the action. In case this year takes a toll on my memory at least I know I can count on Roperider to preserve the best moments forever!

I got many wonderful cards and gifts from attending guests. Some of my favorites were the Madonna book, a BDSM songs mix CD, a pair of "Editor" pants, seamed Marlenes by Wolfords, signature Paddles, a framed picture of (none other than) Moi, and a Weber grill. Oh yeah, did I mention that my grill came with two zero gravity chairs? Of course I had to have a BBQ with them over the weekend. Saturday night dinner at the Capital Grille was marvelous. I couldn't eat that well every week and still fit into my latex, but it sure was a treat for the senses.

Thanks to all who helped make my birthday special.