Mistress, I am curious to try ballbusting at home with my wife, but I don't think she is comfortable being as mean to me as you are. We tried rough sex, and she knows I like high heels... but how can I make her feel comfortable being the controlling one I want her to be?
Well it sounds to me like you have a pretty good understanding of some
of the things which get you going. The heels turn you on... is she
willing to wear them? (Have you made the effort to purchase her a
quality pair to make this more exciting for you both) Next, you said
you have openly disclosed your interest in rough sex. She likes it
too, but you say she holds back. Thats pretty normal when one is
first exploring this concept. Until she learns how hard to push you,
and her own strength, as well as hearing your honest expectations and
response... then she won't be able to fulfill your fantasy.
What seems missing here is communication about your desires. Anytime
you try something new in the bedroom, its a good idea to have a
conversation about it later on. Try to encourage her efforts, even if
there is a negative critique that needs to be verbalized, start with
something she did right. For example: That was really exciting when
you started to get a little strict/rough with me, it really turned me
on. I thought you meant business when you grabbed me by the balls.
To be honest, (this is where you can ask for more intensity, gently)
if you had grabbed them even harder at that moment I would have let
you do it. In that state, with you in total control, I can't even
feel pain. Instead I get a total adrenaline rush from feeling my
power taken away from me. I actually could have taken a lot more
before needing you to stop. (then here I may close with another
positive) The look on your face when you had me by the balls was
amazing, you're always beautiful but when you look controlling and
powerful I really melt/get excited/turned on. (however you want to put
this, make it a compliment that encourages her and suggests trying it
again.)
Then listen to her response. She may explain she was afraid to hurt you, etc... But then she always may confess how having the control made her feel hot, etc. If she does, encourage that response. Then try and establish a plan to have a safeword in case it becomes too painful. Explain the reason for a safeword is to allow both of you to let go and roleplay a bit more.
If she knows you are actually OK, then she will be able to turn off that automatic
protector button she has that goes off when her mate is being harmed. Choose
a word together. Something like her middle name, or the color RED, or
something silly if you prefer, like marshmallow. Whatever it is, make
it some word you don't normally use in bed, thats easily distinguishable from
more, yes, no, mmmm, etc... that way the role-play can ensue and the safety
can be trusted enough for her to venture further next time.
Let the kinky games begin!
