Look Around My Blog:

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Bound In Boston

This past weekend I ventured off to a rope bondage convention. Two full days of workshops, presenters from around the country teaching lots of new knots and harnesses to learn; adding to my repertoire.

I'm currently rather interested in incorporating rope bondage into scenes so if you make an appointment to see me for a session and check the box Mistresses Choice, then you will likely wind up in full or partial suspension completely at the mercy of me and my careful knotted ropes.

Once immobilized, the rest is up to me... Will I choose to exploit those tender little balls so vulnerable and exposed? Will I make an example out of you and stripe your behind with my cane... Or maybe tease and tantalize your chastised male equipment just for my own sadistic pleasure. Whatever I choose to do to you, you won't have much choice in the matter, dangling completely helpless and in my clutches.

*(limits always respected.)

Chastity Corner



---- Letter from one of my kept pets, enjoy. -GDS

It has taken the better part of my life to realize my submissive sexuality, but only a few incredible hours with Goddess to know that it is She i will totally surrender it to. Here is my story.

For me, chastity is an offering, a gift, a tribute a sacrifice. For it to be meaningful, it must be given to someone; dedicated to them so they can take pleasure in knowing they have the ultimate control of someone. Once the lock clicks shut and the key is surrendered, it is a daily, hourly, moment to moment reminder that one person controls your manhood completely. Suddenly, all thoughts focused on sex are detoured, shifted to that person. Immediately after 'horny', there is 'locked!' and then 'Her'. And it goes round and round to where all of those thoughts and urges that used to result in masturbation now become thoughts of her and of your complete surrender to her.

my journey of discovery into began several years ago, on a trip to Madrid. Ever horny, especially on the road, i happened upon a brothel. The place was busy, with men regularly walking in and out, two burly guards at the door. It struck me how easy it would be to step in, choose a woman and fuck. All too easy, it seemed. After all, one of the great joys of sex was the dance, the struggle, the uncertainty. The clash of pure hormone driven urgency and the subtlety of the mental challenge to score. The dance. So i walked away, back to my hotel, where the internet introduced me to the world of male chastity. i immersed myself in web page after web page, discovering the world of Feminine Domination, Orgasm Denial and enforced Male Chastity. Before leaving i had ordered my first Chastity device and traveled home in a horny, submissive frenzy, anxious to lock my cock away. i was completely certain that i had found my answer, my true sexual self. Since i was without a Keyholder, i began to train myself in the hopes i would find the perfect Mistress some day.

First came the adjustment to the cage. The awkwardness of the hard plastic between my legs, the pinching of my balls, the morning erections that woke me in pain. But, with time, it became familiar, the norm. All of the small daily details of being in Chastity, the click of the lock as it rattles on my cage, ever searching for a sit down toilet, touching the hard case that isolates me from myself, become constant reminders of Her, my Mistress to be.

Then there was knowing my rhythm. i was an every other day masturbator for years. Initially, it was hard to go 4,5,6 days without cumming. I would be constantly reaching to touch myself, suddenly reminded that play time was over. Gradually the time lengthens; 7 days, 10 days, 14 days, 30 days. There is a clear pattern to my libido. After 3-4 days, i am moderately horny, pleasurably so. At a week, things began to get more serious. i find myself distracted by my cock, beginning to become preoccupied. i can feel myself becoming submissive, especially in the presence of women. Oddly enough, i believe women can sense this state, submissive and serving. They seem to acknowledge it with a knowing look, perhaps a smile, but i believe they know i am now longer threatening, knowing i am inferior to them. By day 14, i am in full semen submission. There is a feeling of floating in horniness, a craving for submission, for surrender. my thoughts turn to Her control, Her manipulating my willing body, enjoying the power of accepting my gift.

i reached out to Goddess after seeing her website and i was so pleased and excited when she agreed to session with me. o/Our first few sessions were eye opening for me. She seemed to know exactly my limits, my feelings. She fed my fantasies and started many new ones. It was o/Our third session when it happened. i was spread on the St. Andrew's cross, in heels and stockings and gagged. She was toying with me and i was falling into sub-space. i looked into Her eyes and fell into her. An immediate connection of trust, admiration, dedication. She could have asked anything of me at that moment, i was Her slave. It was o/Our next session when i knew it was She that i would offer my Chastity surrender. On the spanking bench, She working behind me, i was being outfitted with a humbler. Suddenly i felt my body go weak, limp, and a feeling of willing surrender overcame me. Unknown to me, She was crushing my balls in a vise and i was Her's forever. When i left that day, i resolved to ask Her to be my Keyholder.

When i see my Mistress again, it will be after 21 days of dedicated, devotional denial. I am swirling in a semen induced submissive state, craving for Her to handle me, torment me and amuse herself with my desperation. Uncertain as always and yet sure that She will know exactly where to take me on my journey. i dream She will grant me the gentle, dripping release that will come as She probes my man-pussy. It will be as She wishes.

In Service,

paul
caged4her

Check your Bucket List...

...at the door.

I'm sure many of you have a list of the things you'd like to try at least once in life. Not surprisingly, visiting a Dominatrix is a common one that shows up on many a bucket list.

I imagine the process one must go through to research the topic that has struck a chord in their fantasies and then the selection process to find the right Mistress who can twist your dreams into reality. Does she really exist?

That entirely depends. It can be when you are looking to have an authentic experience that flows rather naturally; a session which is spontaneously made up of the energy in the room, exploring interests and having your buttons pressed, while leaving all the decisions of how and when up to your Mistress. Being patient enough to allow Me to discover your kinks is always a great way to build trust and develop a stronger connection.

However, I also realize it takes a lot of courage to finally reach out and admit that you'd like to explore things you've only fantasized about... thus given the opportunity, you're hoping to make sure you get to dive right in and try all the things you've had running through your mind.

**If this is the type of session you're looking for, kindly run this past me in advance, so I know what to expect. Since you are hoping to work off a bucket list I will get my clip board so you can list them all. Each will be explored, assessed, and your performance will be judged, then merited. This experiment will be conducted and you will finally be able to check your Dominatrix curiosity off the bucket list. (Don't attempt to manipulate me during the session to walk through your fantasies at your direction or you will be throttled before even having the chance to check anything off the list.)

That being said, good communication is paramount to a good experience with your Domme. Yes I want to hear about your fantasies, and yes I want to hear your reflections after each session to know the progress I am making with you. I enjoy pulling reactions out of you... so do tell me what will get the best response, and what you would rather we stay away from. But don't attempt to top from the bottom. Doing so you could cheat yourself out of a wonderful experience making a total power exchange unlikely.

No dear, discussing your interests is in no way topping from the bottom. I don't want to have to play guessing games. If you know what you like and what your kinks are by all means, do tell me. What I'm referring to is not sitting up mid session and saying mistress are you going to sound me now or mistress could you please spend 60% of our time penetrating my holes and 25% of our time smothering me, then allow me the rest of the time to stare at and try to grope your ass.... Those folks get disappointed, and that is who I try to weed out through screening, but on occasion one slips through. To my dismay. My advice is to be in the moment, enjoy (and let me enjoy) the gift of submission you are giving to me. Once you try to make too many demands while in session, it is almost like taking back that gift. It leaves me feeling rather unable to think at all about what I might want to do to you... and isn't that the point?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Fall into Place


This month things are really starting to come together. Many of you have realized that securing a regular time in my calendar - or at least semi-regular, is the best way to ensure that you will be one of the lucky slaves who makes it through my doors. Those of you that have not, may be noticing that its getting harder and harder to get a hold of me. I am in the process of training an assistant to help with the many facets of communication, which can be a lot to manage. I appreciate your patience during this time and welcome any of your feedback regarding how I could improve upon in the areas of scheduling and communications.

Although at one time I could accommodate same day appointments or even 24hr notice, over these past few months my schedule has begun to fill up 1-2 weeks in advance. That is largely due to my preference for longer sessions averaging 2-3hrs each. I've also had a serge of requests for extended sessions, overnights, and visits from abroad. Know that I am trying my very best to juggle my schedule.

As one would expect of anyone juggling in 8 inch heels... there were a few minor setbacks that impacted my ability to meet every request. For those of you who were concerned, my ankle is on its way to a full recovery. And thanks to Dr John, I've managed to work my regular chiropractic visits back into my schedule to make sure I don't get laid up again with back pain. *(Anyone questioning how I have back issues at my age clearly has never seen the shoes I wear. Apply here for a session to worship my entire collection or take me shopping for my latest pair.)

Friday, August 5, 2011

Fetish Con Tampa


















Last night I returned home from a week of sun and fun in Tampa, Florida. The main event was a Fetish convention, hosted at the Hyatt Regency. Lots of great vendors and models attended. I had the opportunity to meet some new photographers, session with some attending fans, and fit in some photo shoots all in just a few short days.

Stay tuned for more shots like this one taken by Matta, and look for me in the next issue of VonGuttenberg Magazine which should be hitting Hudson newstands around the world mid fall. I will be heading down to NYC for a shoot and hope to also meet up with Mistress Absolute of London. If you'd like to see me for a session while I'm in the New York area, or if you happen to have seats to a Yankees/RedSox game, send an email for consideration to Deanna@SadisticVixen.com

On my travels I connected with RAO Entertainment and now have an interest in modelling their lattest line of trendy lounge wear, Stitched Heart, which can be seen on facebook. Lots of great stuff in the works... Don't look away, or you might miss where I'm headed next! ;-)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Party at Pumps


Last night was the final dinner party from a long week of birthday festivities. I felt very loved and attended to this past Wednesday at Pumps which is hosted weekly by the lovely Mistress Delilah. Always a fun place to go out for a drink mid-week and see friends, on occasion this venue also hosts some kinky fun. Miss Vivian Darkbloom and Boselixir put together a sensational line-up of bare bottoms for me to lay across my knee and spank with my various paddles. Friends and slaves traveled from afar to make this birthday a special one. Afterall you only turn 29 once, right. ;-)

This picture, courtesy of Roperider, was one of many taken throughout the evening by the talented local photographer, who I fully intend to work with again on future collaborations. Whenever I turned around, there he was ready to capture the action. In case this year takes a toll on my memory at least I know I can count on Roperider to preserve the best moments forever!

I got many wonderful cards and gifts from attending guests. Some of my favorites were the Madonna book, a BDSM songs mix CD, a pair of "Editor" pants, seamed Marlenes by Wolfords, signature Paddles, a framed picture of (none other than) Moi, and a Weber grill. Oh yeah, did I mention that my grill came with two zero gravity chairs? Of course I had to have a BBQ with them over the weekend. Saturday night dinner at the Capital Grille was marvelous. I couldn't eat that well every week and still fit into my latex, but it sure was a treat for the senses.

Thanks to all who helped make my birthday special.

Monday, July 11, 2011

July Visitors



This month is full of surprises for me! As the presents are beginning to arrive (yes, its that time of year again, but if you hadn't even noticed that I'm another year older than I guess all that working out at the gym is paying off afterall!) and friends are making their way to see me to celebrate together.

The lovely Lady Elizabeth will be traveling with Miss Lynn to share in the Pumps festivities this coming Wednesday night. Show up if you dare, all naughty boys and girls... well, and maybe the good ones too, will be taking my birthday spankings. Bless their little asses.

A slave by the name of gregulator will be visiting from LA for a couple of days... Of course I will intend to bust his balls immediately upon landing at Logan. Did you know its a great cure for JetLag? Nothing like a nice strong kick in the nut sack to bring those airline nuts back up and remind you what time zone you're in!

Then the following week I get a special visit from Mistress Aleana, from Charlotte, NC. If you are not yet familiar with this lovely Goddess, then check out her videos with Syren Productions and MORE coming soon... Since she will only be here for a few days from July 21st through July 24th, make sure to get all double session requests to Me early, that is if you can handle the two of us!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Calm before the Storm: Dungeon Going Green

Calm before the Storm: Dungeon Going Green

Dungeon Going Green

With so much downsizing around us, I'd prefer to take this opportunity to reflect on expansion and growth instead. While I expand my slaves functionality and allow one to feel useful, the dungeons resources are in turn conserved. After all, forcing the slave to use a tongue and toothbrush to do the cleaning and mere breath to dry the equipment, uses far less paper towels and is more energy efficient.

My other efforts to go green include replacing traditional porcelain toilets with human toilets. As I learned yesterday, the human toilet is far less rigid when kicked. With their ability to swallow many consecutive mouthfuls resulting in fewer flushes per day, I am saving gallons of water and leaving more room for golden nectar.

I have additionally demanded that while in service to me, no slave shall be permitted to use a vehicle to run my errands. Besides conserving the precious petroleum gasoline, the environment remains cleaner, omitting less fumes. This serves to further reduce my carbon footprint while increasing my own footprint on their already reduced male egos.

Since silicone has become a valuable resource, I have chosen to minimize the amount of lube wasted on slaves comfort instead relying heavily upon my own spit - and of course reserving the silicone based lubricants for more important things; like shining my latex and sky high boots.

Should you care to assist me in my efforts to go green, bear in mind that every mouthful helps.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Fetish Factory 16th Anniversary Party


Today I am home for one day of rest and relaxation. Following a whirlwind weekend of festivities to celebrate Glen & Donna's 16th anniversary event, hosted by Fetish Factory. Once more friends from around the world gathered at the Sheraton in Fort Lauderdale, poured into their latex and put their slaves on leashes before piling onto buses to be brought to the events at nearby clubs.

One of the memorable highlights this year will certainly be the vac-cube, which Nemy and I assembled and demonstrated poolside all day on Sunday at the Pervy Pool Party. Many got to share with us their first latex bondage experience as we zipped them into my suitcase-sized dice cube and began to vacuum all the air out around them. The full suspension, with little to no pressure on bodyparts - felt almost like an out of body experience, some said.

Stay tuned for a video demonstration followed by an interview with Latex Nemesis which should appear on the FF website (www.thefetishparty.com)

Friday, May 20, 2011

The Storm Collection


Over the past year I've been working with Latex Nemesis to custom design some of my own clothing. She has such an amazing understanding for the fabric which I adore. It has been such an incredible opportunity to have involvement in the final look I want to achieve.

Having latex made to fit perfectly against my curves instead of trying to fit into something made ready-to-wear in preset sizes has allowed me the freedom to take my rubber fun to the next level. Nemy helped me discover which colors were best suited to my complexion, ensuring my final presentation made maximum impact.

Those slaves who play with me often, know what an important role impact plays in my scenes. What better way to contain my dominant energy then to wrap my toned body up in shiny luxurious rubber? Durable enough to withstand multiple hours of wear, this line of latex being added to my wardrobe has enabled me to add more tight shiny seduction to my already sadistic scenes. Add lube and shine!

I am pleased to announce that the entire array of outfits she created will be showcased in a few weeks at the upcoming Smack Fashion Show, on Friday June 3th in NYC. For more info on this event: http://xris-smack.com/2011-05-18.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Visiting Guest Dominas

This past weekend a few of my lucky slaves had the opportunity to session with Myself and the beautiful Mistress Gabriella, who was visiting from Charlotte, NC. Her style meshed well with mine. She enjoyed exploring my dungeon space and getting my unsuspecting subs into some unexpected predicaments.

We especially enjoyed our extended session with my slave, who've I've come to affectionately call stretch-my-balls-steve, who was in dire need of a strict dose of Corporal Punishment. We laid into him with our canes and paddles, making sure his ass belonged to Us. It had been over a month since his last session, and I could just tell he had been on the prowl for a change of pace. After all variety is the spice of life... Soon after he arrived, he was reminded with a cold hard smack in the face who was in charge, and he easily submitted his man parts to their rightful owner. As I squeezed his balls tightly in my hand, he confessed that he had been looking at other Mistresses new to Eros Boston, and had even contacted a few of them.

After hearing that, I gave his hard cock a quick slap. "Who else but Me knows how to deliver the cruel treatment you crave, slave?" I gave another slap to his cock, even harder this time. "Oh, what was that? I can't hear you through your gag, slave. Let me answer that for you: NO ONE. So if you know what's good for you, you will stop perusing the internet for distractions and focus that pent up frustration on being a better slave to Me, your Mistress. Now get on your knees and beg for forgiveness while I cane your ass!"

Then he got what he deserved. We brutally delivered stroke after stroke, synchronized and precise. As we watched the skin rise and swell in the impressions of our implements, the temperature started to rise under our leather corsets. To see him suffer like that, strapped down and unable to diffuse the impact, completely helpless... it was such a turn on. Gabriella winked at me, and I knew at that moment she was just as excited as I was.

We continued beating him with every paddle in the room, then I took out my violet wand to finish him off, lighting his sore ass cheeks on fire from the sharp electric surges. "Beg for more, slave!" Trained to do as he is told, and afraid of what might follow if he did not, our slut cooperatively stammered, "Please shock my asshole again Mistresses, I beg you for MORE!" We giggled as we pushed the tip of the wand along his inner thigh, delighting in the fact that he was mere putty in our hands.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Domme Trips

Check out this website: www.DommeTrips.com for more pictures of me enjoying the beautiful carribean air as I dominate slaves and whip some sense into the locals.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Dominican Domination

If you weren't there, you missed a good time. The newest event in the local fetish community: DommeTrips.com hosted by the lovely Mistress Gabriella, who will be visiting Boston later this month. Our group was on the smaller side this time, which allowed for many of us who have been seeing each other for years at larger events to take out time to get to know each other better. More quaint. More intimate. Far better Mistress to slave ratio... At least I know my slave, brutus had an unforgettable time. My own fun was limited only by the toothache which persisted through most of the trip, causing me to make plans for removal upon landing on US soil. Never again will I let a naughty molar ruin my fun!

Even without cocktails or sun (neither mix with antibiotics) I still managed to Dominate the Dominican Republic. ;-) Stay tuned for pictures and a few awesome videos, footage shot on location by Syren Productions.

Between relays and obstacle courses, teabag racing and water balloon catapulting; us Dommes really put the slaves to the test. Only the strongest survived. By the end of the week, newly conditioned, more enduring slaves emerged from within these men. We taught a sissy to enjoy ballbusting, encouraged a simple masochist to become more service oriented, and even convinced a foot fetishist to endure underwater trampling.

There will be another trip coming up this fall. This time in our home country and only for a long weekend, for those of you who can't take off a full week. The next trip hosted by Caliente Resort in Tampa, FL will be clothing optional (of course!) while that bit you chose to wear is preferred to be made from rubber. Hope to flog you there!

Monday, March 7, 2011

An Honest Question from A Slave

"Mistress are you just an actress, or are you really enjoying yourself when we play" - Good question. Well, I suppose I am an actress of sorts, or at least an aspiring one in my fetish videos. However, in sessions what you see is what you get. That is why I do such an extensive screening process over email first to get to know my prospective playthings better and make sure that we are indeed compatible. If you see me having fun, with a glow in my eye as I torture your nipples, good chance I am feeling a pretty good Domme space from getting you into your sub space. Its no coincidence that you feel an intense connection during this brief span of time, when you may catch a quick glimpse of me during one of my fiercest, most animated moments. That is no act, my pet. I find it incredibly convenient that I am able to bring you to a place of elation, while I am really just following my sadistic urges to make you hurt in places I know are attached to your pleasure zones. Why - because I can. Because you let me, because you wouldn't dream of stopping me because it turns you on too much to see that I'm aroused by exploiting your weaknesses. Of course, I look forward to pushing more boundaries...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Slaves Corner: A story of Ball Stretching



The First time I met, Goddess Deanna she told me that I had inadequate balls and that they needed to be stretched. I guess I am like a lot of guys out there where my balls don’t hang very low and hang tightly under that cock. So, Goddess Deanna has been working with me to stretch my balls. There is something erotic about the feeling of having my balls stretched. It’s intense and it adds to the control factor as, Goddess Deanna continues to train me. I keep my cock and balls shaven which allows the skin to stretch even more and when I am at work I wear rubber ball stretchers to keep the process going. When I am at home I wear the rubber ball stretchers as I sleep and at work some times I put two rubber ball stretchers on, one on top of each other. I can feel the skin start to burn just a bit during the day as the skin is stretching. I have been doing this for a couple months now and already I have noticed a difference with my balls and the skin seems to be looser.

During session time with, Goddess Deanna she has been continuing to break me down and build me back up as I learn how to serve her and better myself as a slave. Since, Goddess Deanna has been working on stretching my balls lately she has decided it would be good to start weight training with my balls. So far we have been using ball and chains, master locks as well as single weights. I believe at the moment I have used all the weights Goddess has at the moment all hung from balls at the same time. As she hangs the weights one at a time from my balls, I have to say it feels amazing. I can feel the skin around my balls starting to stretch as Goddess adds on more weight. I would like to get to the point where my balls can hold even more weight and make my balls hang even further down. Just remember all you subs out there to breathe, concentrate and build a trust with your mistress. It does feel pretty darn good having weights hung from my balls.

I love the feeling and power of a dominate woman. The feeling of, Goddess Deanna reaching down and grabbing me by the balls as she starts to squeeze as she looks me in the eye and asks, ”now slave, who do these balls belong to?” is mind blowing. When Goddess doesn’t feel she has gotten my full attention, she reaches up and starts twisting my nipples, steps back and starts kicking me in the balls. I feel her control and it starts to get my precum flowing. The harder she kicks the more intense it gets and the more she is in control.

As a slave in training, I have thought about what it would be like to give, Goddess Deanna complete control right down to my release. I recently bought a metal chastity device and am waiting for my next session to be under and key. But in the mean time just the thought of my cock being in a metal cage with out being able to touch it gets me excited. At work I have thought about it often and one day I was thinking about what it would be like to have my cock put in a metal chastity device and my precum started to flow. It ran right out of my peephole, right down my inner thigh and stopped just above my knee. I could feel the wetness in my pants as my cock was rock hard. Just knowing that my release would be up to, Goddess Deanna and that I would be giving her complete control was intense. Giving, Goddess Deanna total control is a rush, intense and orgasmic.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentines Voyeurs

So many folks were in awe of how I chose to spend my Valentines Day. I awoke to my lovely wife, Lexi. Truly a Goddess like myself. Her beautiful corn silk hair resting upon a pillow that had been fluffed just so the night before by our rubber baby puppy2. Looking down I could see him too, snuggled up with his rubber bone at the foot of our bed, baby ballgag hanging from his drool stained chin. Such a happy family we are. A few hours together, and then off once more to our busy lives in 3 different cities.

~ "Princess, wouldn't it be divine if we found a slave who could tend to our dream house, with a black picket fence and a dungeon in the basement;" Princess asks as she raises her head sleepily, swats puppy away from her feet and snatches his little blanket from him. "Bad puppy!" in the same breath. "you will get NO attention from your mommies today!" Once again, puppy has eaten our shoes in his sleep. Such is the life of our cuckolded rubber baby puppy. Nothing but constant abuse, from not just one, but two cruel owners.

Get back in your place right now! I am taking away your rubber puppy suit, and you are going to the mall to replace my Louboutins immediately! The heels had better be red, and you had better be back before I'm thru with my breakfast or the shade of my heels will pale in comparison to the RED I will turn your disobedient ass with my hairbrush! - I shout something along these lines as puppy scurries into his boy clothes and hurries to the door, hanging his head in shame as he covers his supercilious tail with his hands which are now both clasped tightly behind him as he had been trained. "WHAT are you waiting for?!!!" - his eyes bulge in fear, and I hear the door close behind him before I could blink.

"Well, princess," I say to Lexi, "thats twice now, how ever are we going to train this dreaded puppy not to ruin our things? He didnt even learn after the brainwashing light therapy sessions we enforced upon him yesterday." She nods and takes out her iPad, quickly drafting an ad to replace the inadequate slave. "Lesbian Power Couple Seeks Rubber-Baby-Puppy" - Don't worry, Princess, he is disposable. I'm sure we can find a new one in no time. - she smirks as she hits send, launching the ad worldwide. ~

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

What does the BDSM Emblem mean?







The BDSM emblem has no "obvious" symbolism because it was created to beenigmatic. To the vanilla observer who would be put off by BDSM, it is merelyan attractive piece of jewelry. Thus, we can wear it freely as a friendlysalute, nod, and wink to other BDSMers we should happen to pass on the sidewalksand in the hallways of our daily lives.

To the insider, however, the Emblem is full of meaning.

The three divisions represent the various threesomes of BDSM. First of all,the three divisions of BDSM itself: B&D, D&S, and S&M. Secondly,the three-way creed of BDSM behavior: Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Thirdly,the three divisions of our community: Tops, Bottoms, and Switches.

It is this third symbolism that gives meaning to the holes in each unit.Since BDSM is at the very least a play style and at its greatest a love style,the holes represent the incompleteness of any individual within the BDSMcontext. However "together" and "whole" individuals may be, there remainsa void within them that can only be filled by a complimentary other. BDSMcannot be done alone.

The resemblance to a three-way variation on the Yin-Yang symbol is notaccidental. As the curved outline of Yin and Yang represent the hazy borderbetween where one ends and the other begins, so do the curved borders hererepresent the indistinct divisions between B&D, D&S, and S&M.


The metal and metallic color of the medallion represents the chains or ironsof BDSM servitude/ownership. The three inner fields are black, representinga celebration of the controlled dark side of BDSM sexuality. The curved lines themselves can be seen as a stylized depiction of a lashas it swings, or even an arm in motion to deliver an erotic spanking. Theall-embracing circle, of course, represents the overlying unity of it alland the oneness of a community that protects its own.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Polyamory = Social Evolution?

"The Lifestyle refers to social/sexual relationships involving multiple partners - sometimes anonymous, sometimes standing - or, put more plainly, swinging. Recent conversations led me to consider whether Lifestyle proponents constitute a deviant subculture or in fact a logical progression toward a more natural state of relationship.

To even consider such a theory, one has to suspend their natural tendency towards the rigid moral conventions to which we have all been socialized and look at this notion from a completely objective standpoint. That is undeniably difficult, but consider it rationally for a moment.

Very few species on the planet are actually monogamous. One presumes that this is because monogamy would not be evolutionarily advantageous in terms of perpetuating a species. Marriage is a social convention imposed to legitimize human sexual activity, which, at some point in our history became something to be regulated, if not disdained.

Infidelity - be it actual, emotional or objective - is almost a given within our culture. Doesn't monogamy seem contradictory to some primal hardwiring which is innately driven to perpetuate the species? What if we were to characterize infidelity not as a moral transgression, but, rather, as unnatural restriction imposed onto a system which is inherently unwilling to adopt such a rigidity? Is it possible that we were never meant to be monogamous at all, which means in turn that all of the variations of infidelity -- whether they be actual, emotional or objective -- would be redefined as mere results of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole?

Doesn't it make sense that, at some point in our social evolution, polyamory would be re-introduced as the logical standard and that such a lifestyle is actually more in line with that evolutionary imperative to perpetuate the species."

-Michael Formica, Psychology Today